July 2006

Fans…

1. Who or what is on your computer’s wallpaper?

Sean Connery used to be Scarlett Johannsson

2. Go through your DVD/pre-bought video collection. Which three actors or actresses feature the most in them?

Actors
Clint Eastwood
Sean Connery, Michael Caine and Harrison Ford Tied

Actresses
Julia Roberts
Rachel Weisz
Judi Dench

3. Go through your book shelves. Which three authors have written the majority of the books?

Tom Clancy

Robert Ludlum

Len Deighton

4. And what about CDs?

BareNaked Ladies

Elvis Presley

Tragically Hip

5. Open up the picture folder(s) on your hard drive. Of which actor/actress/movie/tv series/musician do you have the most pictures?

Tie between Scarlett Johannasson and Kiera Knightley

I attended my 20 year High School reunion on Saturday evening and it was good to see the folks and catch up on life. Since I have changed my appearance quite dramatically I enjoyed the looks I got and appreciated the comments I received. I recognized some of the people which is surprising as they have either not changed or changed very little in twenty years. Others I could not believe how different they look and I was glad we had name tags with our Grad pictures as I needed the help in a few cases. It is always interesting to hear what people are doing and about their families. I saw quite a few pictures from very proud parents showing off their children. A few of the the people I spoke with are doing exactly what they thought they would for a career and others are doing things completely opposite from what they expected to do with their lives. That is not surprising as the paths we take are sometimes outside our control and we sometimes end up taking paths which we could never imagine we would follow.

Something that hit home with me as I described what I have been doing during the last 20 years, was how much I miss not having a special lady or children in my life. I guess two mistakes I have made in my life is that I put my career ahead of everything for too long and the second thing is I have not been able to maintain a relationship and have that special lady stay in my life. This has left me with an emptiness in my life and as I get older I feel that my chances are getting slimmer that I will meet that special someone. My friends keep telling me I will meet someone someday…I hope they are right as being alone and having no one to share my life makes me very unhappy.

Even though I am still in search mode for work at the moment I have been looking at vehicles. Not that I am unhappy with my vehicle, I drive a 2003 Honda Pilot which I enjoy for its versatility and incredibly comfortable drive. I have just been looking in case I need to commute as part of my new job or maybe just because I like change occasionally. Also it does not help that it costs a small fortune to fill up my beast. Having said that the Pilot has the best fuel mileage of all medium and large SUVs.

I have been looking at both cars and small SUVs with my preference slanting towards a convertible of some sort. Not sure why a convertible, possibly mid life crisis….:-) just kidding. I would like to get something smaller than my Pilot as it would make more sense for my road trips and again if I have to commute or travel for work.

There are many pros to having the bigger SUV including lots of space including enough to sleep in if required. (This came in handy on my Road Trip last year). Space enough to carry lots of stuff and passengers and no this does not mean I will help you move. A very comfortable drive both on and off road and ability to tow up to 2000 KG although I have not towed anything yet. Probably the only real negative is the cost of filling up my beast but so far that has been out weighed by all the advantages.

I have been looking at a variety of different vehicles,

• Honda CRV
• Toyota Rav 4
• Volkswagen Jetta
• Ford Mustang Convertible (ok so this might be a mid life crisis)
• Toyota Highlander Hybrid
• BMW 3 Series convertible

Quite a variety of vehicles with each having positives I like. The CRV is a Honda which is a quality vehicle I do not need to say anymore. The Rav 4 is intriguing to me because of the size and style which both appeal to me as well as the reliability seems to be high. The Highlander is a Hybrid which interests me for the reduced fuel consumption and of course it is a Toyota so there is reliability. One thing about the Highlander Hybrid is it is a new vehicle and I would like to avoid getting a vehicle which has just been released. The Mustang appeals to me because of the convertible aspect and I have driven one a few times and I looked damned good driving one. The BMW convertible is a more upscale car and again the convertible appeals and of course I would look Damn Good driving this one. Not too sure about the reliability of the BMW as I would have to get an older one probably 4 or 5 years old. Finally the Jetta diesel is something I have been interested in for several years but I am not sure if I would like one. I have to try one out and see if I like driving a Jetta. Obviously the fuel consumption on the Jetta and styling along with the available engines makes the Jetta one I would look at but it would take something special to knock the other choices off my list.

Overall my choice for another vehicle would be a 1970 or 71 Barracuda convertible which would be my dream vehicle. The one challenge I have is I am not a Mr Fix-it so any problems could be a challenge.

Oh well maybe one day…..Still looking for a Sugar Momma any volunteers?

Might be that I am a little bored…..

At least that is what she would have said had she been able to speak. My dog Tara normally just does her one syllable bark and i will wake up. If that does not get me moving quick enough then she bounces on me with her two front paws with a little bark to make me wake up. If she does not get the response she is expecting ie. me getting up…she then proceeds to bouncing on my head and this will get me moving for sure.

Except today for some reason I did not respond to her and when I finally came around she was crying at my feet as she had to go out and was obviously very desperate to go out. Poor thing. As soon as I let her out she got to the grass and did her business and I could see she was relieved to do her business.

This got me to thinking, first of all why was she not able to wake me up and what was causing me to sleep so deeply. Second and more important what if something were to happen to me since I live alone and spend about 95% of my time alone I am wondering how long it would be before someone would check to see what was happening and what would happen to Tara during this period. She has a couple bowls of food and a couple bowls of water which would last a few days but then what would happen. I guess I am kinda in the same boat as the older folks who live alone and if something happens to them no one really notices until either the smell becomes unbearable or someone checks on them. Either way it is not a pleasant thought and I really fear for Tara as she cannot fend for herself.

The last few days have been extremely warm and while I do not like the heat I really feel bad for Tara as she cannot get comfortable. I have brought her food and water downstairs to try and help her out and we sleep downstairs as it is very cool down here. Still she is labouring and I noticed she is trying to find a comfortable place to lay down so she is on the couch then a few minutes later on the floor and then back to couch. I brought a fan down and setup her pillow and blanket so the fan blows on them and she occasionally will lay in front of the fan. Besides putting ice in her water and giving her a treat of ice cream I wish I could make her more comfortable.

I got my bike out of the shop today so I decided to go for a ride even though it was quite warm today. I rode along the Rotary Trans Canada Trail which follows the Vedder River. The trail is wide enough to ride in comfort and has periodic benches and areas where you can get to the water. Today it was about 35 Degrees Celsius which is 95 Degrees Fahrenheit so I had to stop and dip my head in the cool water. Since this was the first time I have ridden any serious distance and because of the heat I went at a leisurely pace and went about 15 Kilometers by the time I got home. It was very enjoyable and I am looking at maybe going to the Gulf Islands for a day.

As I have been cutting back a lot since I have not been working one of the things I have been without for quite sometime has been a Starbucks Frappuccino. I do love my Starbucks Fraps mmmmm a Raspberry Mocha or even better a Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino would really hit the spot right about now.

Since I have been denying myself a Frappuccino for so long I figured maybe I would take up a collection and see if I could raise a few bucks to fund my “Anthony Needs a Frappuccino Fund“.

So how about it…..

After some soul searching and some positive comments from Jim and Rachel I have decided that I should and will keep posting as this is my corner of the web to do and say what I want. First thanks to Jim and Rachel for helping see why I should keep posting and hopefully I can use this as my forum to bring myself back to my normal cheery self.

I am still in the market looking for work and have had no recent responses to my job applications. It has been a demoralizing time for me as I continue to search and apply but still no responses. I would not be so down if it were not for the fact I have absolutely no money coming in and still have to pay my bills. It makes it very difficult to be positive when I know each time I pay a bill I am not sure where I will get the money to pay my future bills. I know that sooner or later someone will see the huge upside I will bring to their organization once they hire me. Hopefully I will be still be around when that happens.

Each time I get a little down I take a look at Tara and she wags her tail and starts to talk to me and I know things will be OK. I have her to take care of and no matter what she needs me so I have to make sure she I have treats to keep her happy. Although I know she would be happy without her treats as long as she has me around.

I have put my bicycle back on the road finally, not sure what took me so long but there it is. I took it in for a tuneup and then I will be going on a few road trips. Of course as soon as I decide I want to go bike riding we are getting some really hot weather coming up. Just my luck.

So I will keep updating on what is up with me and maybe some adventures or rants from my upcoming bike trips. Keep your fingers crossed and positive vibes coming as I continue my job search.

On August 19th 2006 the Spina Bifida and Hydrocephallus Association of BC is hosting the 1st Annual Hope River Classic Run/Walk. It will consist of an 8k Run or for those who take life at a slower pace like me a 5k walk. As I was born with Spina Bifida this is a cause which is quite near and dear to me. I am going to participate and ask everyone to participate by either donating or joining me on August 19th, 2006 for a pleasant walk.

Hope River Classic For all the details and directions to the event.

For more details on Spina Bifida

Thanks
Anthony

Sometimes I put postings up here with what is happening in my personal life and what I am thinking or expereincing. What is the big deal well I am by nature a private person and I am uncomfortable expressing myself even to the point where I normally keep things inside. I am not sure why sometimes I wish to express myself on my blog and other times I am reluctant. I think one of reasons for my reluctance is most of the time the personal posts tend to be not so positive and I think people are not interested in reading posts which are always down. Maybe another reason is I find it difficult to express what I am going through and do not want to burden people with my problems.

Lately I have been marking time with my blog and have not really been into writing anything or for that matter fixing my gallery which I know looks terrible. I guess I am not sure what I want to write and whether I want to keep writing. Oh well tomorrow is another day and we will see where that takes us.

I have always wondered why Major League Baseball is so backwards in how thy do things. Now i am not a fan but occasionally the TV is on a sports station and baseball happens to come on and I just do not change the channel right away. This happened yesterday and again this evening where I saw a few minutes of the Home Run Derby and the all Star Game. It was nice to see five Blue Jays as part of the American League Team. The Home Run Derby is alright and the players wear their All Star Jerseys so the fans will know if they are with the American or National leagues, which makes no sense as the Home Run Derby is individual and not team based. Now the All Star Game is a different story the players wear their individual team jerseys as opposed to the All Star Jersey’s in a game where they are either playing for the the National or the American league teams.

This makes absolutely no sense and is typical of how backwards that MLB is concerning how they run their league. It still stuns me that when the championship trophy is presented it is presented to the team owner and not the players who earned the championship. Just goes to show how backwards that professional baseball league is…..

I checked out this site a while ago, it is pretty good. If you want to compare your movie tastes to mine give the test a try.

Click the link and try the test and see how we compare. Leave a comment and let me know.

http://www.flixster.com/servlet/invite/102894986dnoyvanmjvABCm

For those that either know me or read my blog know my best friend is my dog Tara, she is a an eleven year old toy poodle. She has some health issues but she is doing OK most of the time. We had company on Saturday so we stayed up a little late and went to bed a bit late. As Tara needs her medication twice a day I got up about 9am and normally she gets up with me. On this Sunday morning she did not get up so I went into the kitchen for a bit and then came back to get her but she was still asleep. As I tried to wake her up she was not waking up very easily and it took me about 5 minutes to get her to wake up.

After she got up I brought her into the kitchen and gave her pill to her. Then I went downstairs to let her out and she came to the top of the stairs and proceeded to fall down the stairs. I was not able to catch her until she fell about half down the stairs. I was scared she was hurt but she did not seem to be hurt that I could see. Next it was back in kitchen and Tara walked straight into an open cupboard door and then into side of the stove. Now I know she sometimes has problems seeing but this had me concerned. So I sat with her and just cuddled her and she went to sleep. Later we were down stairs and she was asleep on her pillow when I got up to go upstairs I called her but she did not respond so I went up stairs and did a few things then I heard her coming upstairs. I was in the kitchen and she came upstairs and ran into the kitchen and then down the hall and when I called her she stood in the middle of hall looking around and seemed confused. I reached my hand down to her and she jumped when I touched her. Obviously she could not see me and she was concerned because she could not find me. We spent the rest of the day just hanging around and I carried her up and down the stairs because I was concerned she would fall again. Monday she was better and more alert.

I am afraid that my friend is getting sicker and I will have to make the decision. It is just that she goes along for so long and then she has a bad day and the last thing I want to do is see her suffer at all. I have been thinking about what she is going through and I sometimes wish she could talk to me when she is not doing so well and tell me what she needs. I know that someday I will have to make the trip to Vet and return home alone. That day my heart will be ripped out and I do not know what I will do without her.

Good question I have been searching for work for quite sometime and am still actively searching. I have had quite a few interviews even to the point where I have been called back for several more interviews for some positions. I try not to get my hopes up as I do want to remain positive no matter what happens. About two weeks ago I had 4 separate jobs(I was waiting to hear back from) which I had interviewed for and 2 which I was called back multiple times to “continue the process” with more interviews and tests. When you get called back multiple times it is hard not to get your hopes up.

Well Monday rolled around and about 9am I received the first call telling me thanks but no thanks, then about 10:45am another call same result. So what started as a nice Monday was turning pretty crappy so I checked my email in the early afternoon to see I had a message concerning one of the remaining two positions which consisted of one line saying “Thanks it was a pleasure to meet with you but we have found another candidate who better suited our needs.” Now Monday was becoming one of my least favorite days. Finally I received another message in the early evening letting me know that the last position I was in the running for had gone to another candidate. I am 0 for 4 and see nothing on the horizon, not a good state of affairs. So now I am very down and still trying to look at the positive side but it is extremely hard and I find myself wanting to strike out at anything which might be bothering me.

I have done something which for the life of me I cannot figure why and have probably alienated someone who has been a good friend to me and would avoid hurting at all costs. I sent an email to a friend and it was a poorly worded and contained a stupid message. Email is soo evil sometimes. I wish I could take back the last few weeks and have a mulligan but I know life does not give us mulligans so now that I been so stupid I have to live with the consequences.

I have no excuse and even though I have had no luck finding a job I will find something. I know everyone keeps telling me that but it is hard sometimes to experience so much rejection and not really see a light at the end of the tunnel.

All I can say is I am so sorry and if I am little down please understand I am trying my best and sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I truly value my friends.