September 14th Five Years On

It is hard to believe it has been 5 years since my mother passed away. I am not sure where the time has gone or what I have accomplished since that time. I have mixed emotions and I guess that is accentuated by the fact that I am alone and unemployed giving me too much time to think and very little else to think about. I am never sure how I am going to feel as these dates approach but as I think about it over the past couple of years I had so much to keep me busy with work and a friend that I did not have too much time to dwell. So I guess that is why the past month has been so difficult for me with the anniversary of my Dad’s passing in August and now this date.

While I am an emotional person I tend to keep my emotions to myself. Not always a healthy way to live but I have found it difficult to express my emotions to anyone and so I have found it easier to keep to myself and that way I do not have to depend on anyone for support. May not be seen as the most healthy way to live but it is the only way I have so I make it work.

So having said that I sometimes lay my emotions out there especially during this special time for me. My Mom and for that matter my Dad were very close to me and while I have moved on as the saying goes “Time heals all wounds” you have one Mother and one Father or at least I had one of each. The relationship I shared with my parents was probably pretty unique as they were among my best friends and I was able to spend alot of quality time with them. Sharing that time as an adult really showed me the kind of people my parents were and left memories with myself and many others whose lives they touched. I was lucky to have two people in my life along with my brother Steven who helped me through my challenges from Spina Bifida I had as a child and into adulthood.

I have said this before and it is one thing I can say without reservation, I am a better person because of the influence of my parents especially my Mom who instilled in me to believe that everyone has good in them and always help out where you can. I have tried to help out where I can and carry on her and my Dad’s legacy of giving.

As I sit writing this I am flooded with memories of my Mom and I guess the best memories I have are times we sat in kitchen watching TV (Hockey and Wrestling) and she loved her movies. A memory I share with people is how when I worked on Saturdays she would call me on my way home and put the phone by the TV so I could listen to Coach’s Corner. Now if that is not love I do not know what is.

I miss you Mom and thanks for the Memories.

Mom I will spend the day at on of your favourite places.