Scary Scary Nights

October 24, 2006 | Category: Personal, Random Thoughts

I usually dream each night and most of the time when I dream I remember some pieces of what happened. On a few rare occasions I have what might be termed a nightmare and on even rarer occasions I will wake up in a cold sweat. Most of the time my dreams are pleasant episodes where I am in a place such as a beach or on a trip somewhere. Some of my dreams consist of me talking to a faceless person, no not like X-Files faceless just that I cannot recognize whom I am talking to or the focus is not on their face. Of course some of my dreams I am not able to write about as they are not ‘G’ rated. :-)

This leads me to a dream I had last night which caused me to wake up with a start very early this morning and I was not able to get back to sleep. The dream started with me talking to a faceless person and they were asking me how I was doing and how life was treating me. My usual answer to this question, no matter how I am feeling range from “I am OK” to “I am doing well”. I find it easier to tell people what I think they want to hear and I know most people do not want to hear you are doing Shitty. In the dream I think about the answer and decide to be truthful and tell them I am doing crappy. My friend inquired further and asked me why I was doing crappy. I thought about how I was going to answer and was not sure at first I wanted to expand on my answer. After some more discussion during which my friend encouraged me to let them know “where my head was at” I continued with some trepidation.

When you hear that someone in their thirties or forties who seems to have a lot going on in their life and seem to be successful commits suicide and you wonder why. They appeared to be successful, they were healthy and their did not seem to be anything within their lives that should cause them to take their own life. Mainly you wonder why someone so young would take their own life. You think what a waste, they had so much of their life ahead of them and they had so much that they could do with their life. My faceless friend was concerned and asked me why I would relate such a story. My explanation…..since I have been unemployed for the last year and half and have had some pretty low points recently, I had a lot of time to think. One of the things I thought about was I now understand how someone who seems to have so much in their lives could end their lives. Desperation sometimes causes rash actions. I reassured my friend not to worry while I understand why someone would take their own life I would not contemplate it.

Strange dream and very vivid and I am not sure why I dreamed about such a thing. I wonder what I ate to bring on this dream because I do not want to eat that again.

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