Tag Archives: life

More Change on the Horizon

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As much as I like challenges I prefer things to flow in a straight forward somewhat simple fashion. Being able to balance work and everyday life is very important to me and it looks like there is more change coming for me at work. Not sure how the changes will impact me or my role but I do know there will be some impacts. After all the changes I have been through in the last 2 years and especially last year I am not sure where I will find the strength to work through the upcoming changes. My energy reserves are getting a little low and I was kinda hoping that massive changes would not occur again for the foreseeable future.

Oh well I am told that what does not kill you will make you stronger I guess I am going to give Superman a run for his money.

Time Heals All

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At least I am led to believe this is the case. The last 29 days can be a difficult time for me as I take some time and think about and reminisce about what changes have happened over the past ten years. It was ten years ago today I lost my Mom. I think about her and my Dad (who left us on August 15th 2011) and wish they were still with us. I am never sure how I will react as this time grows near. The memories flood back and I know I will take sometime and think about life, where I have been and where I am going. Even though it has been ten years I still miss them dearly. I carry something from each of them with me all of the time, my Mom’s Saint Christopher Medal and a set of my Dad’s military dog tags, I guess it is my way to stay connected with them.

Looking for a Friend

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Over the past 12 months I have been forced to focus almost exclusively on work and I have literally had to put my personal life on hold. This has taken a toll on both my physical and mental health. As we approach my birthday and Christmas it is plain to me that being alone is something I do not like or want for my life.  While I am still on the lookout for a lady to join me in my travels and to share my life. I have figured out that with my job as crazy as it has been I am not sure how much time I can invest into meeting someone but as I am not getting any younger I know I need to do something. I know I have to find the time for myself and get back my work/life balance.

I have tried the different options including the online dating sites and for whatever reasons I have had no luck making a positive connection. Not that I would consider giving up but after lots of rejection or the famous lets be friends speech one gets kinda tired and sure gets disillusioned. Since I am not having any luck finding a lady friend at the moment I have thought seriously about adding to the family and getting another dog. It has been just over a year since I lost Tara and up till now I knew I could not get another dog as I was travelling way too much and was too focussed on work. I am still not sure if I can make this work but I think my life is slowing down enough for me to handle a new addition to the family.

I have started looking and would like to see if I can find a dog for the spring. This will give me some time to find the right fit and be very sure that I will have the time to take proper care of the new baby. Now I need to figure out what kind of dog I would like, I know I want a small dog just not sure what breed.

A couple of choices I am looking at are the West Highland Terrier


Or a Toy Poodle

Stop the World I Want to Get Off

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As we head into the fall I am still finding myself extremely busy. I am hoping things will slow down somewhat at work so I can have some down time. Even though I have my cruise in January to look forward to and enjoy. I am just finding that I am so tired both physically and mentally that I am not able to relax and things which do  not normally bother me are now affecting me. So as the title says can the world stop for a bit I want to get off.

Decisions

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Over the past few months I have been wrestling with a decision which I did not want to make but knew I would have to make at some point. Some decisions are easy or seem easy, this one was one of the most difficult decisions I think I have ever had to make.

Yesterday, Saturday October 24th I took Tara to the Vet for the last time. Over the past few months she was getting more and more confused and I believe less aware of her surroundings and people. I was forced to block off the stairs as she would fall down the stairs periodically. As the time went on I begin to see that she was not enjoying a good quality of life but really just surviving.

After almost 15 years together it has been a long journey together and we had some great adventures. While some people would not understand the connection, Tara was a part of my family and a true friend who no matter what was happening in life, no matter what kind of mood I was in, she would give me unconditional love.

Now as I look around my empty, quiet house I am expecting to look over beside me and see her sleeping peacefully. A part of my heart has been ripped out and I have an emptiness which is so painful I am not sure when this pain will fade.

Good Bye Baby Monster.
Tara-and-Garfield

And So It Goes

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As I look back on the last year I cannot help but think that my life is so different than this time last year. I know it has to do with my new job and my contest win, but have I changed? I think I am the same person, a little older with a little less hair but not a different person. Possibly what has changed is how I look at things and how I try to live my life for me and live for today.