It is hard to believe we are in November already. It seems like yesterday that I booked my December cruise and in less than 3 weeks I will be sailing to the sun for a week of relaxation. While the last few weeks have been a very difficult time for me I know a relaxing break will help me get refocused and start to move on. Life is not the same without my little buddy to take care of and to give me a reason to go home. But I know over time I will get past this and I think the cruise will be part of my therapy.
This will be my third cruise and I have started to believe this is the best way to vacation and probably my first choice in the future. Not sure if I will try other companies or stick with Carnival which so far I have enjoyed the experiences and the prices make it very affordable. Not sure what is on the horizon travel wise but I can foresee another cruise in the spring to maybe the Caribbean or the Bahamas.
Over the past few months I have been wrestling with a decision which I did not want to make but knew I would have to make at some point. Some decisions are easy or seem easy, this one was one of the most difficult decisions I think I have ever had to make.
Yesterday, Saturday October 24th I took Tara to the Vet for the last time. Over the past few months she was getting more and more confused and I believe less aware of her surroundings and people. I was forced to block off the stairs as she would fall down the stairs periodically. As the time went on I begin to see that she was not enjoying a good quality of life but really just surviving.
After almost 15 years together it has been a long journey together and we had some great adventures. While some people would not understand the connection, Tara was a part of my family and a true friend who no matter what was happening in life, no matter what kind of mood I was in, she would give me unconditional love.
Now as I look around my empty, quiet house I am expecting to look over beside me and see her sleeping peacefully. A part of my heart has been ripped out and I have an emptiness which is so painful I am not sure when this pain will fade.
Lately each time I have taken Tara out to do her business I have to carry her down the stairs and down onto the ground. It is not that she cannot do it herself it is just that it takes her a while and she struggles a bit so accidents do occur. But that is not the reason for this post, one of the times I was letting her out I turned around and as it was raining she did her business and ran into the house before I could get in and the door closed over. As I pushed the door open it made me think of Fred Flintstone putting out the cat at the end of each episode. Now every time I let Tara out I think about Fred putting the cat out and the cat jumping in the window and Fred bellows Wilmaaaa!
The past few weeks I have been working long hours and most nights been at work after everyone else has left. On Friday I was in my warehouse checking a few things when I looked around and realized not only was I alone but if something were to happen no one would know anything happened until Tuesday. While this in itself is sad the saddest part would be Tara would be alone for 3 days and probably not make it.
I just got back from Kelowna where I took Tara to my good friends who will be looking after her while I am away on my great adventure. I find I walk around the house and talk to her only to discover she is not here. Makes me appreciate having her around even more.
Friday is creeping up on us fast. I have been finalizing the packing and looking at the travel sites as I prepare for the trip. It is hard to believe that on Saturday we will be in London visting the Tower of London and enjoying a good pub meal and some beer. I guess as the week goes on it will hard to contain the excitement, I can only hope I get good news on Thursday when I get my next x-ray for my wrist. Say a little prayer for me and send me some good vibes and hopefully I will be able to get rid of this cast.
The plan for London is to spend Sunday seeing the Changing of the Guard, Guards Museum, War Cabinet Rooms, Westminster Abbey and Piccadilly Circus. As we want to be flexible we may change around the schedule if we find other things to visit. Maybe a bus tour if the weather is alright and it meets our fancy. Monday we are going to St Paul’s Cathedral, Harrod’s, and a trip in the London Eye. Around our hotel, The London Bridge Hotel is several things we will visit such as the HMS Belfast, Southwark Cathedral and The Tower of London. Oh well 5 more sleeps!
Well so far I am not having fun and the aggravation from the cast has made me extremely frustrated. It takes alot to make me mad or to lose my cool but today I just lost it. I was struggling to put on my shoes and Tara was standing at the top of the stairs. She started to bark and continued to bark, the more I struggled the more her barking was getting to me. I asked her a couple of times to quiet down but she continued until I finally yelled at her and obviously scared her as she cringed when I approached her.
Tonight when I got home she did not come near me and was acting very strange. I am sure she was afraid after I yelled at her this morning. Damn cast is the bane of my existence. Ugh.
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